I was reading an article about millennial burn outs today. This is not really a recognized concept, but it does speak a lot to young adults crumbling under expectations of a better life, a better career and healthier food (going to the gym, doing yoga, earning more money, making a family, traveling, seeing the world, and fighting for world peace).
While these are all valuable and respectable aspirations, I mostly worry about their feasibility and their impact on mental health.
The case of women
Women today have exited the era of stay-at-home-moms to enter the working-class-underpaid-full-time-jobs lifestyle.
They need to fulfill different standards: be a great mom, keep a tidy home, cook foodporn-worthy-bio-healthy-food AND get a better career, look pretty, do yoga, meditate, solo-travel, shop more, consume less etc. etc.
No wonder we end up lost: none of this makes any sense.
For every of these realizations, female support groups are blooming (solo female traveling, female entrepreneurs etc.). While I deeply respect that, I also worry of seeing them become societal norm-setters. I only have anecdotal evidence to support this, but it CAN turn into a pressure to travel solo and enjoy it, lead a business, be better, fight better…
The case of society and social media
Society, like everything else, has both positive and negative aspects. With social media blooming, both these features expanded. You can find and get kind and awesome support anywhere, but you also have higher risks to fall into the constraints of peer pressure and unrealistic social standards. The happiness trap and tyranny of perfection are getting worse, and so is their impact.
Given the duality of this experience it can be very hard to find the balance. Yet, it is very necessary.
You need to find balance between reality and expectations, a balance between time occupied and time for yourself, balance between career and personal, between society and individual.
Moreover, the massive amount of information we are receiving daily makes it very hard to select, trust and register information. It is definitely going too fast, making it all the more necessary to TAKE A STEP BACK.
The dividing line
I was on a seminar last weekend and I heard the quote: “Meditate 20 minutes a day if you have the time. If you don’t, meditate 2 hours a day”.
This can also turn into an injunction, unless you stick to the core value of it: this is about you! It is about your health, and your wellbeing.
Meditation is important because only you can define your wellbeing. And as the challenges in your life grow, so do the challenges to find your inner purpose, your inner peace. Failure to do so can make you anxious and stressed on a daily basis, and/or lead to fatigue and depression.
So, if you are crushed under life’s dogmas, contemplating your inability to meet all the rules at once, try to remember that you are not the problem: it is those rules that need to be revised!
In order to do that, as your life becomes busier, the need to take time for yourself increases. You can take some time alone if you can manage it, or seek therapy if you can afford it – as long as you don’t fall into perfectionist-therapies-musts or systematic go-tos and well-being consumerism (also another article I read, but I’ll keep this debate for later ???? !).
There is balance and harmony to be found, despite the challenges. And only you can find it for yourself. But keep looking, fellow friend, keep looking. You are worth your time, more than anybody else.
Love
Ingrid
